I'm Doing Better Than You.

I’ve lived alone in a drinking town with a sailing problem for 15 months. My mornings start when I want them to, with whomever I want (or don't want) them to. Mate and I have a routine. I get a $2.75 XL coffee from Rise Up and they give him a "Pup"- cup of whipped cream. We stop and say hi to Mr. Jim -- the city trash man -- who starts his mornings at 0400. He checks outside my building door, making sure it’s free of trash, alcohol induced vomit, and dead rodents and birds. You know, city things. He trades Mate a few treats and gives me the same daily advice like, “let yourself be young, you have your whole life ahead of you, if you have kids just know they’ll break your heart," always concluding each conversation with, "do you wear that sunscreen I got you?” And then slips me a few more of the expensive biscuits he brings for Mate, but not the other townie dogs. I pass a minimum of three people I hug each morning, and share small talk with another five. At 0800 our town stops. The National Anthem echoes through the eight square miles of Annapolis. Each American flag seems to fly a little higher and we all stand a little taller. Then I go home. I take a short flight around my social media platforms before making my goals for the day. I shifted from making daily checklists to daily goals when I was let-go from my “adult” job in February. Meanwhile, I've circled back to waitressing like I did in undergrad. Without this so-called "adult" job, my yoke was easier and my burden lightened. But I’ve confused yoke with success and light as unfulfilling. Everything around me seemed to tease, "I'm doing better than you."

I don't write to a Christian audience, I write for a curious audience. Therefore, I want to unpack a different perspective of this "yoke." I'm thinking when some of you read the word "yoke", your first thought is 2 Corinthians 6:14 - "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness" (KJV). By definition, a yoke is "a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull." It has synonyms like harness, coupling, collar, and equipage.

While I do believe the Bible is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow-- the English major in me want's to challenge some of those "yesterday" parts. Mostly, this unequal yoke advice. Now that I know yokes are equipment, used for coupling, I can see them metaphorically. I think of the times when my friends and I walk with one arm slung over each others shoulders. Where the shoulders meet and how the arms lay could simulate the shape of a yoke. The perspective is the yoke is a burden, a relationship between the oppressor and the oppressed. Or, the Oxen and the driver. But what about the Oxen’s perspective? Is it safe to assume that the pair yoked together are thankful for the other? I don’t think these animals see each other and feel, “I’m better than you.” These Ox, these creatures with strength and power, are a team equally yoked to accomplish a task. But what if we took those Oxen's and named them, "righteousness and unrighteousness", "light and darkness." It would be like awkwardly wrapping your arms around a friend that sees themselves as better than instead of different but equal.

I'm not convinced that there's an implied "be equally yoked". No one has said to me, “I'm doing better than you.” If they did, it would be a prime of example of being unequally yoked. I told myself I was unequally yoked with those around me because of facts, not because of their personality or our relationship. Fact: T graduated with honors from one of our nations most exclusive schools. I graduated .3 GPA points shy of Cum Laude from a very average state school. Fact: My friends have careers in their fields. I have an English degree--there aren't any jobs because it isn't much of a field. Fact: None of them care. We celebrate each others seasons of life.

I got confused. I started measuring "better" as the capability of the Ox next to me instead of my own contributions accomplishing a task. I put my perception of "better than" in the driver. Not with the ones I was equally yoked with.