This Too Shall Pass

I remember last fall spending the bulk of my free time in Annapolis, Maryland. My bunker was a four-star hotel downtown where I quickly fell in love with the overbearing nautical and Navy themes and became a familiar face to the front desk staff. I spent so much time in Annapolis that when I came home, I fell into a crippling melancholy mood. When I was here, all I wanted was to be there. I started cursing Millersville University and wishing away my senior year of college. I was angry. Lancaster and college were so cruel to me. But now as I re-read the emails of MU closing for the remainder of the semester because of the quarantine, I am deeply saddened. I didn't get to say goodbye. My memory floods with priceless memories, luxuries, and freedoms I had with the people I loved most that cannot carry into my real-world-adult life. This quarantine is uncharted territory to the country. At this point, the only unification we have as a nation, as a globe, is the emotions and questions that come with complete solidarity. If there were ever a time to say the age old cliche, "this too shall pass", it's now. Yet, I kick myself for my ignorance. I forgot that sitting among my friends, sharing sub-par food and fits of uncontrollable laughter, that "this too shall pass."

I've been toggling back and forth between social media memories of my college experience. Everything I've felt, seen, and experienced in the past two years is recorded on Instagram, Pinterest Boards, and Snapchat memories. However, my private Pinterest boards tell much more about my life than on would ever see on my public social media. As I scroll to the bottom of my "words to live by" board, I feel where my unhealthy relationship with Lancaster and college began. At the bottom of my board, I read quotes that where the product of some happy girl, in-love with life and a really shitty boy. But as I scrolled up I was pinning quotes convincing myself I wasn't alone. I was inconsolable. Scattered between those were empowering quotes begging myself to rid thoughts of despair and believe that, this too shall pass. My other boards, the ones about my future and braiding my hair were left untouched for months. In a series of scrolls, I relieved all the painful, emotionally shattering experiences of my sophomore and junior year.

So I toggled to my Instagram. I felt peace as I look at the joy in my smile and the confidence in my eyes. I saw pictures of people that love me knowing I deleted the ones of someone that didn't. Looking at these pictures I see why everyone asks, "literally, are you ever home?" I've traveled. A lot. I've made new friends. The amount of experiences that I've seen, learned,and done in these past two years are incalculable. I go back to my Pinterest profile and track when this newfound excitement with life began and what it looked like. I've made boards about Grad school, Annapolis, and adult-ing tips, all infiltrated with corresponding Navy and military related things and dreams. While all these are great and realistically prepare me for my future, I ignored what was in front of me. I ignored what was passing. But how foolish would I be to regret that? I can only learn from it.

We all don't know what is going to happen in the next few weeks, how many plans are changing and dreams that need alterations. However, what I do know is that Spring is coming. The flowers will bloom. The birds outside my window will sing because to them, this is just another day.

But just like everything, the good, bad, and the scary, will all pass. Stay sane, my friends, for this too shall pass.

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