S**t Randy Says

It's April 22nd, 2018 and I am with baited breath stating that Lancaster is leaving its "third winter" and actually making an effort to act like spring. This day has me laying belly down at the Mountville wooden playground on one of those benches made of eco-friendly recyclables and a cheap plaque dedicating it to someone of complete unimportance. I'm avoiding the unforgiving pelts of a NERF gun war and laughing at the 14 year old couple awkwardly holding hands, unaware of how to act in an unsupervised situation. But maybe I look awkward, too. Just me, belly down on an annoyingly uncomfortable bench, toggling back and forth between my oversized laptop and my phone, anxiously checking the Penguins versus Flyers score. This belated spring day seemed as good as any to procrastinate studying for finals and writing research papers. My procrastination topic of choice, "a list of daily-words-to-live-by quotes inspired by, my dad, Randy Mosser."

1. Walk in Like You Own the Place.

This is OG Randy right here and the mother of all the advice he has ever given. For each new school year, each first day of a new job, or just any experience in general he'd preface it with "Walk in like you own the place and you'll go far."

2. This is America, You Can Do Whatever You Got Dang Please.

At 48, my dad has done a lot with his life. We had a plush lifestyle thanks to the company he first worked for, but then he set off on some business adventures - some good, some not. But, when we lost a business in the recession, he quickly opened other (give me a minute as I brag) to which his response was, "I don't do things to make money, I do things to show you kids that this is America and you can do whatever you got dang please." Props to the guy because he's been semi-retired for the past 3 years.

3. If You Can't Pay For It In Cash, You Can't Afford It.

*Gasp!* "Is this even possible?" Yes. It's actually extremely possible. Reading a Dave Ramsey book and not being materialistic is a great place to start.

4. Don't Spare Any Expense On Vacations.

Unless of course, you can't pay for it in cash.

5. There's About 8 Different Ways To Get Everywhere in Lancaster County and They All Take the Same Amount of Time.

'I would bet that 1 out of 3 of you reading this are having a total "ah-ha" moment right now. That being said, next time you're riding in the car with someone who "took the long way," just save yourself the argument because each way (even your way) takes the same amount of time.

6. There is Power in Your Tongue.

Ok, I guess Jesus should get credit for this one, but props to dad for spreading the word. This long standing, under preached, biblical message makes many appearances throughout the 66 books in the Bible. But most notably in Proverbs; "death and life are in the power of the tongue." Basically, if you say you're going to have a bad day, you spoke it, so don't be surprised when it happens. On the contrary, if you speak abundance and health into your life daily, then biblically speaking, God promises that one will have just that, and then some. Ok. I'm done preaching now.

7. Don't Take Life Too Seriously.

This is a relatively new one. He said it to me after my divorce. 20k later and I think he still shrugged that one off a little better than I did.

8. Even if You Have the Money, Still Shop Around for the Best Deal.

Sometimes laziness gets the best of me and I buy something just so it's over with. Example; car insurance, cell phone carrier, etc. If I would have followed this advice, I wouldn't have a $110.00 Verizon cell phone bill and 2 year contract breathing down my neck. **insert all the eye rolls**

9. Eat Ice Cream, Always.

Us Mosser's are (surprisingly) extremely healthy. But we don't follow a food pyramid; we have a food square. This square consists of butter, donuts, black coffee, and ice cream - the new balanced diet.

Just let those 9 little life-hacks resonate in your mind and come listen to him preach at 10:30am on Sunday mornings at HOPCC. :)