If You're Nosy...You're Gonna' Want to Read This.

So 4 years ago today (maybe give or take) I remember looking at my (then) boyfriend throwing a fit that after 15 months of dating we were not engaged yet. I pulled the line "well if you're not gonna marry me, why are we still together? How about we just break up?" My 18 year old brain had concocted this notion that if I was not married by the legal age of 18 and the mother of two kids (working on my third) by the time I was 22, then I might as well be dead. I could sit here and tell my whole engagement story that happened December 15th, 2013. But I won't. Because quite frankly, anybody that has been engaged, knows how annoying it is to tell that story over, and over, and over again. All you need to know was that it was cute and thought out with a ring too pretty for words. But you also need to know that I crammed another monumental event into my life just six short months after my high school graduation. And no, I was not pregnant.

Fast forward to July 1st, 2015. I had my SUV packed full with half of our wedding presents on my way to my new apartment. Just nine long months after our October 4th wedding, I realized married life was not for this 19 year old. But in the spirit of honesty, shortly after my engagement I knew married life would not be for me. I just refused to get off my high horse and call off an almost-paid-for wedding that came out of my parents generous pockets. Moving on, (literally), I took over my friends lease at the apartment community of Greenland Village Apartments in Lancaster for 875.00 a month plus utilities. And in case you can't tell, that is a lot for a 19 year old that worked off commission. But I did my best to settle in and make it feel like "home." I spent two nights there before I realized I needed something living and breathing with me. Hence how I decided to adopt a cat on my lunch break that day. So then it was me and Simba Walt who decided to settle in and make it feel like "home." So Simba and I spent a lot of time watching "Due Date" on loop (we're suckers for Robert Downey Jr.), doing paint-by-numbers, and researching divorce lawyers. I used that site "Avvo" because I saw an add for it one time on network TV and it seemed like a good (and only) place to start. $1,100.00 later I had signed my name, "Halle Musser," (no that is not a typo, my last name only changed one letter) in about 15 different places and sticky tabbed another 15 places that he would need to sign. Ironically, December 15th, 2015, exactly two years after our engagement, the divorce was finalized.

My dad has this saying, "It is easy to get into anything; getting out of it is the hard part." He even used the example of, "I can go get married tomorrow, that's easy, but it takes months to get divorced." I never kept the fact of my marriage a secret; if someone asked, I shared. But I also didn't go out of my way to bring it up unless I felt it would be a tasteful encouragement in an appropriate situation. For a while when I would tell the story I would always preface it with the disclaimer that I grew up in a sub-culture where young marriages after short dating periods where "the norm." I did not take ownership of my own choice. Jason and I laugh because almost a year into our relationship we think about the fact that if we "followed the norm" we'd be engaged four months ago and married in the next 60 days. Of course we've had the conversation about marriage. It'd be pointless to spend all this time dating each other if we didn't see a future together. But we are in no rush. Sure, the convenience of marriage is tempting. But the season of dating is fun. The season of engagement will be fun. And a lifetime of marriage will be fun. Right now we both enjoy not sharing an address, a last name, or a bank account. That day might come. And realistically, it might not come with each other. But it's not something to put a timeline on. If I am not married until I'm 30, that is still young! If I don't have kids until I'm 35, that is still normal. Plus, should I be lucky enough to marry Jase, it gives him extra time to save up for that 1.5 carat solitare emerald cut ring in a thin gold band setting.