I'm Not Feeling 22

I sang Taylor Swifts "22" for a good thirty days prior to my actual May 8th, 22nd birthday. My co-workers were thoroughly unimpressed, to say the least. But that song is a staple, (and IG caption) for soon-to-be 22 year olds everywhere and I vowed to celebrate my 22nd birthday extra hard, seeing as how I spent my 21st in the hospital. I had stated to my boyfriend, Jason, that I didn't really want anything for my birthday; I simply wanted to "call a re-do" and turn 21 again.

To spare you the details I'll give you a short synapsis as to why my 21st sucked. Basically, I spent it with people I didn't really like (expect for you Britty and Ty, you the real MVP's), drinking alcohol I really didn't like, and waking up with not one hangover; but rather two seizures. I traded in my hotel room at Hotel Lancaster for a $17,000.00 overnight ER stay at Lancaster Regional Hospital. That being said, I thought I deserved a re-do. Luckily, my boyfriend, Jason, thought I did too.

So that's just what he did. I later learned that he spent two weeks reaching out and organizing my best friends and family together for a little "Re-do 21st Birthday Surprise." 8pm on Saturday May 13th was the anticipated time and date. "SURPRISE!!" I walked into the Marion Court Room bar looking at a large table that held my family, my brother's best friend, and one my best friends (with whom I'd actually spent almost the last 3 months fighting with). Jason had a sneaky, yet proud, half smile on his face when I looked up at him to say "thank you." Calmly he reassured me that everyone else would be coming later.

But they didn't come.

My phone made a never ending "vooop. vooop" sound delivering me with unwanted text messages of my friends retracting their RSVP's. I sat at a table in the second story of Annie Bailey's pub with my best friend, Tiara, on my left side and Jason taking a knee on the ground to meet my eye level. In a desperate attempt to keep my spirits up he sang, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to." But this didn't feel like a party, and I especially didn't want to cry. I was overdressed, completely sober, and rightfully pissed off.

Fast forward to tonight: May 16th, 2017.

I drove with a lead foot down 283 at 5:45pm because Jason told me he made reservations for us at J.B Dawson's for 7:15pm. I was not in a J.B Dawson's mood-I was in a picnic mood, so I wasn't thrilled. Once there, I lollygagged up to the hostess bench with my motorcycle jacket dangling at my feet and haphazardly hanging onto my helmet, and stated that we had a 7:15pm reservation. Before Jason could even finish his sentence of "Actually, our table is already here...." my two co-workers, Brooke and Kristy, (original invites to my night out) came running towards the front, smiles wide and arms extended. Again, Jason had a sneaky, yet proud, half smile on his face. I was pulled into a group hug and lead back to a booth where white roses awaited my arrival. A unintentional "part two" of my birthday surprise.

I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't spend Sunday and Monday pouting, venting, and re-reading text-messages. I'd be lying if I told you I was never a criminal of "retracting and RSVP." I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have any sort of fun because I was depending on my friends to be there to give me a good time. Next time you find yourself the victim or perpetrator of "let-downs" which person will you choose to be? Will you choose to be like Tiara: full of forgiveness and phileo love that even in the midst of fights can still find a reason to celebrate one another? Or maybe like Jason: full of initiative, a voice of reason, a quiet but influential individual to have around. Perhaps it's like Kristy and Brooke: full of celebratory attitudes and point of views even when times for celebration have passed. But do not choose me. Do not choose my bitterness, my ungratefulness, and my self-pity. Find the Tiara, the Jason, the Brooke and Kristy, in your life and put stock in that.

So really and truly, the biggest of "thank you's" to each and every person that celebrated with me and from afar. I truly do feel "22."

-Halle